Men

So, let me tell you, today I have been mostly useless, and completely unmotivated. I thought a holiday was supposed to give you energy, and I thought I would be rolling up my sleeves this morning and get straight back into the tasks at hand. Not so much.

First of all, I slept in until almost 10, something that would have come in handy the last few mornings with Phizz sleeping in and me being wide awake at 7. But no, today was the day. Then, I had made a Skype date with some of my beautiful kiddies back in Australia, whom I chatted with for ages, I showed them all around the house and the garden, since a MacBook Air is so light and easy to carry that it was easy to do a bit of a run-around. The girls loved meeting my cat, and they kept wanting me to show them where she was. Of course, the cat was less than impressed to be followed around by a laptop with loud little voices coming out of it...Then I read them a bedtime story - Dinner with Fox. It was great being able to read to them from the other side of the world. I do miss those little happy kiddies. Cheeky little things.

Then, after that, I made my Mum coffee, she is in the shop on Thursday mornings, so I make her a proper coffee here with our Nespresso machine and then I walk around the corner to the shop and have a coffee with her. When I got back, it was already nearly lunch time and I decided I would have just half an hour to sit on the deck in the sun and start reading a book Phizz gave me and insists I read: The beautiful basics of science. That is a point of difference between Phizz and me, he is a serious science geek, whereas I am only interested when it's in my face or involves food I love. He actively seeks it out and the enthusiasm with which he explains things to me makes me smile. I know a lot more about satellites now than I did a week ago. But I love the science that goes into making a perfect cup of coffee, and loved learning about the science of making wine when Ash and I were in the Barossa valley two months ago.

Anyhow, I sat for maybe 20 minutes, with a keen eye on my computer hoping to speak to my husband whom I hadn't spoken to for a week. Eventually he finally came online and we had a lovely chat. It's nice catching up with him and talking about the normal things back home like his work and the house. It was good to see him, though he was quite pixelated, he is still a lovely thing to see. A cuddle would have been better though. I really love that man.
Let me tell you something. It hadn't really occurred to me until it was pointed out to me by the man in question, but last weekend I went on what could have been considered a romantic weekend away, with a man who is not my husband. I've been writing about Phizz in my blog a lot, too. To me, this is totally not an issue. That my new amazing friend just happens to be a man is a coincidence. The chance of that being the case is 50/50, yeah? So I hadn't thought of how any of this could have been perceived by anyone. You know why that is? Because I know that it's just not anything Ash would worry about. He knows me. He knows I love him in a way that is everlasting and serious and I know he is so the right man for me, that's why I married him. And what I do with other men really isn't a problem because I don't want to do anything other than friendly things with them. Ash knows that. And I really don't care what other people think, they can think whatever they like. There is a new amazing person in my life at the moment who I think about a lot, so I write about him. If Phizz were a girl, I would still write the same things.  This blog is about what's going on with me right now, and right now it's a wonderful new friend. I love making new friends, it's a big deal to me. And my love for my wonderful husband is something that is well established, something that is not on my mind right now, but is always in my heart. It is what lets me be this happy, even when I'm away from him.

The fact that my husband is totally cool with me going away with another man on a lovely island escape is something that makes me love him more. I know plenty of people who wouldn't be so cool with that. But one of the things I love about Ash is that he provides me with a freedom that is infinite and makes me super happy. He loves my free spirit, my adventurous nature, the way I express myself - he respects and supports the choices I make. That is just so freaking awesome. You should see the way he looks at me. Nobody could look at me with more love in their eyes. Nobody. I don't feel anyone could possibly love me more or make me happier. He rocks and he is mine forever - I feel blessed.

I just browsed my wedding web album to find these photos and it's lovely to see those pictures. It was an awesome day. Best party I've ever been to. Check out the album here.

So, I am a lucky girl. I have a wonderful husband who loves me endlessly and I have a wonderful new friend who understands me endlessly. I know a husband can't be all a woman needs, I don't even think I would want him to. I love that I have friends who can support me when I am not around Ash, and I don't get that upset about the fact that he doesn't always feel the need to communicate, because I can communicate with my friends. Ash doesn't come from a family where they talked about their feelings very much, so it can be hard for me to try and talk about my feelings, because often he just doesn't know what to say. But that's fine. As long as we tell each other the important things, I can talk to my friends about other things. All good.

Anyhow, the rest of the day I did manage to do a few useful things, helped Mum get rid of the rubbish, we went to the tip, and we got rid of all the paper that needed recycling (here you need to bring your paper for recycling to big containers that come to the village once a month) and that's about it. Tomorrow I will be more useful. I hope.