If only there was an architect around

It was a much shorter night for me last night, couldn't quite go to sleep until 10.30, which I thought was a good thing as I might sleep through the night and shake the jetlag on day 2. Bit optimistic. Must get that from my mother...I woke at 5 am and did not manage to go back to sleep. I got up for a moment and stared out my window while the sun came and coloured the church tower orange, the sky turning from dark to grey to blue. I enjoyed seeing the ice on the pastor's garage and imagining I could see that it was freezing. I was hungry, too. 

So after a bit of pondering, listening to Bon Iver to soothe my buzzy brain and some failed attempts to sleep a bit more, I slipped my feet into the fluffy chicken slippers (they were once a Sinterklaas surprise from my sister to my mother, and I now wear them whenever I am here. They disturb the cat in a big way, which makes me laugh) and went downstairs. All was quiet, Mum came home late from a meeting so she was still in bed, so I scoffed a pain au chocolat to still the rumble in my tummy. The cat came to check out my lap when I sat on the couch, but thought better of it when my warm fluffy robe became static and gave her shocks, and she wasn't too sure about the chickens, either. 

Tea with Theebeschuitjes as usual when Mum woke up, followed by the customary good conversation and brain storming about how to tackle the mammoth task at hand. In my early morning brain buzz I had still been convinced I could find a way to let her stay here. Truth be told, there is no way I can gather even remotely enough funds and I have no idea how to even start. Next feeling I get after that is to run away, back to Australia and my wonderful husband and just stick my head in the sand. But that was just a feeling and it passed. Then after that I got practical. I started researching house prices in Elsendorp, the kind of houses that are for sale now, how much houses have sold for recently. I also researched bathroom supplies, prices, options. Then I researched how much I could sell our old furniture for on the net. Mum's new apartment needs a lot of work. A lot. And renovations cost money. Generally also a lot.

Then after coffee and before lunch we stroll down to the apartment to start making measurements. It is just around the corner, literally. It is a building originally built as a health clinic type place, then it was a child care center and more recently it became the general store, but only the largest room of it. The rest is all small boxes around the shop, linked with narrow corridors. It is a logistical nightmare. The windows are small, and high. And there are bloody radiators everywhere. With critical eyes I started seeing some potential, the same way my mum and sister have. It does challenge the imagination. I got loads of that. 

My brain hit overdrive again, as it has been a lot since I got here, and I started moving rooms around in my head, swapping the kitchen and bathroom, the lounge room and bedroom, bound by the location of sewage and water and gas and power points. We'd go 'Oh, yes, we could put the kitchen like this!' followed by 'Oh, but that radiator is in the way'. There's always a radiator in the way! And what about those walls? Are they load bearing? Is there a gas connection there? How about water? Could we put an extension wall there? There's septic tank under there, can we build on that? It is extremely frustrating to not know whether we can knock out certain walls or not. The annoying thing is I know a great architect who would be of tremendous help. I am married to him. But he's in bloody Australia and he is extremely busy working! 

We've spent most of today puzzling over the configuration of the rooms. I designed how we could recycle her current kitchen in the apartment, as we assume the next owners are most likely to rip it out anyway. 

There wasn't much time for anything else today. I fleetingly thought what I would have been doing today if I had just come for my annual visit. Getting out my diary, crossing out which weeks I'd be in France and/or England, calling up friends to make dates to see each other. Planning the traditional trip to Holland's most lovely (in my opinion) amusement park 'The Efteling' with my bestest friend from primary school. Planning our annual cake party with two families we've befriended in France seven years ago. Fun, fun, fun. Not sure I'm having fun right now. I know I will be some of the time here, I have plans to travel a bit. But as I'm not working anymore and there is no money, it'll be on a budget. 

I feel very challenged and very tired too, at the moment. Oh, and hungry too! I've been feeling extremely hungry most of the time since I got here! There's so many lovely Dutch foods I've missed. Huzarenslaatjes. Filet Americain. Hagelslag. Saucijzenbroodjes. Not to mention the chocolates and Tim Tams I've brought over from Australia. It's good I plan on going to check out the Zumba classes in Gemert tomorrow...that is, if I managed to get a proper night's sleep...